Sunday, June 24, 2007

Night Before the Big Exam

We leave for Ethiopia in six days, and the panic is setting in. I have the feeling I'd have in college the night before a big exam—I would have been studying for weeks, but late at night, just before closing the books and turning in, I'd think about all the ways I could have studied but hadn't.

On the CHSFS forum, there's an interesting discussion going on about tantrums and how to deal with them lovingly in ways that promote attachment. The parents contributing to the discussion have such wonderful ideas, many of which come from books I've never even heard of. Now I feel like I should have read these already so I'd be prepared to deal with Sid's grief reactions when he comes home. It seems so important to handle everything in just the right way, and I'm afraid I don't know enough to make the best decisions in the moment.

Of course, my night-before-the-exam panics were usually unwarranted, and for the most part I knew more than I gave myself credit for. I'd take the test and do reasonably well, pulling the answers out from somewhere in the frenzied folds of my mind. Let's just hope this works out similarly, and that when Sid is here I'll have the tools and intuition to know what to do when problems arise. As long as it doesn't turn out like that calculus exam—the one I took one look at and, realizing it seemed to be written in a language I'd never seen, handed in blank—I guess we'll be OK.


vali said...

I had the same feeling a few days before I gave birth to Titan. All these other young moms were talking about Babywise vs. Baby Whisperer, and I'd never heard of either. When they asked which I was going to use, I answered coyly: "I haven't decided."

Knowing you just a little, I can already tell you're overprepared. :) It's just that there's no manual for parenting-- by birth or adoption.

Trust your instincts and read up later on anything that doesn't seem to be working. Until then, choose sleep over worry!

Can't wait to see picture of the 3 of you together!


diane hampton said...

Deirdre there's no doubt in my mind you have all the tools you need to give the most loving homecoming a child could receive. The jitters are a totally natural and normal response - I actually slept better after I brought the babies home! I'm thinking of you these next few weeks especially and sending you much love. Can't wait to meet your boy!

cathy said...

I swear the last few days before hubby left for ET were horrible. I was walking around in a daze of WhatIfIForgetSomething??? It's yucky. You're going to be fine... Don't freak out about too much. You may be surprised to find you'll have a very smooth transition. Little Z's was.