Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Maybe school isn't so cool

Well, day two of school went a little less well than day one, and day three went disastrously. On Monday Sidamo was fine when I dropped him off but started crying for me at around 11:30 and continued to be weepy until I got there at 12:30. Then today he got hysterical right when I dropped him off and continued crying on and off until I picked him up. I showed up an hour early since the drop-off went so badly, and when I got there he was out in the playground, holding his teacher's hand and crying hysterically for Mommy. I stayed there with him for the remaining hour to help him see the fun in the place, but I'm a little concerned about going forward. Any tips from seasoned parents?

It just makes me so sad to leave him when he is crying for me—especially given the adoption issues—but what other choice do I have? Can someone please tell me it will get better and this will have no effect on our attachment?

7 comments:

lisa said...

It will get better and it won't affect your attachment. I didn't go through it with daycare, as you know-I think the setting was similar enough to the orphanage-and, of course, I had no leave and she had to go immediately. But, I had to go through several months of her screaming for me when I left her with John, and we came out ok.
And bio parents deal with the same issues. A mother at my daycare had to leave her daughter every morning screaming and crying hysterically. I haven't asked her, but I've noticed the dropoff has been calmer for a little over a week now. Hang in there.

Sandra said...

It will get better and be fine. I have taught for 8 years and it happens every year. Some little ones do go through a bit of separation anxiety and just need your comfort and the teacher's. I hope this helps:) Enjoy the new baby-I've followed along as I'm due in 6 weeks.

Stormy said...

I'm no expert ... but I wonder if it would help to leave him a picture of you?

I also heard a cute story of a mom kissing her kid's hand and saying that if he missed her during the day, he could hold his hand to his face and she would be kissing him. Sidamo might be a bit young for that one though.

What works for us is food ... the teachers just mention that snack time is coming up and he's off. He doesn't cry later in the day though.

Alicia said...

No idea from the adoption end of things, but from the preschool teacher end of things, I agree that a picture might help. I've had a few little guys over the years who have done well with the pic. for a week or 2 until it got more familiar.

It's also not uncommon from what I've seen for it to go like you said - the first few days were great and then BAM, meltdown. So if nothing else, I can say I've seen that that's not uncommon for bio. kids when starting preschool/daycare.

((((((((HUGS))))))) Hope the next couple days go better!

cathy said...

I'm sorry it's so rough. I have a child that just doesn't like to be away from me--period. It's gotten better over the years, but it is still always a bit tough. Hopefully time will help. Sid needs to keep going to realize that you will keep coming back. Hopefully after a week or two, he will start to relax a bit.

Cindy said...

I don't know! We have a nanny come to the house 3 days a week and the boys cling and cry at every good-by (they're pretty crazy when she leaves too). I just give them a very brief, very cheery & animated "By-By!" and happily walk off (I'm crying inside!). By all reports, they typically stop crying as soon as I leave. Although nanny has called me on several occasions to report excessive crying from Baby C.

I tell ya, Tsega would be A-OK with daycare, preschool, whatever; he's a social butterfly. But sensitive Bereket--no way! I'm sure he would be miserable (but who knows?).

I still have memories of myself clinging to a corner at daycare room crying and screaming the WHOLE time, everyday, and wouldn't have nothing to do with the other kids, the teacher, wouldn't go outside and play. At least Sid is letting the teacher hold his hand (and at least it sounds like she is trying to comfort).

(FYI, other preschool situations thrilled me, something about that one appalled me, I think cuz the kids were older than me and probably, irrationally, got bad vibes from the teach).

Kids, it's tough being one!

Liza said...

please don't worry. he really will be fine. really really. he's just too used to having his beautiful and wonderful mommy around all the time. can you blame him? I'm a big believer in quality preschool (even when you're a fabulous mommy) and i feel like molly gets tons out of being at a preschool that she wouldn't get at home w/me. I'm not surprised that the second day was rough because the novelty of preschool wore off, but it will definitely get better, and you're making the right decision!

take it from me (veteran of 3 preschool starts). and just wait til kindergarten!

xoxo